NECW: Episode 2

The opening match is the first look at the tag champions, the Crown Jewels, against Davey Loomis and Alex Payne. This was a frustratingly bad match, and the blame is entirely the challengers. The effeminate or gay or prima donna gimmick is a staple of US wrestling, and it works. I'm not particularly comfortable with the obvious homophobia that means its great for drawing heel heat, but it doesn't stop the fact that it works. It allows the guy or guys playing the gimmick to wind up the crowd, stall, and distract or humiliate opponents. The way to build a good match out of it then relies on the babyfaces. You want, as in this match, the stalling, preening guys to get some form of come-uppance. You want your noble babyface to finally boils over in frustration and punch the guy in the face. Here, one of the champions spits on Loomis, and he does nothing. Not the slightest indication that he knows wrestling is performance. The comeback, when it comes, is lacklustre to the point of disbelief. No angry, fiery fightback, but a springboard crossbody. Like when you were at school, and some kid pushed you too far, and you saw red, leaped onto the table, and bounced back at him. There was a bunch of other annoying stuff like that, added to the fact that Alex Payne is pretty out-of-shape (and not fun in the way that old fat wrestlers can be). The only good point about this match was the referee freaking out after being kissed by the challenger, and in his embarrased rage, he disqualifies him. When the referee outperforms you, you need to re-evaluate.

Most of the show was given over to the big cage match between champion Max Bauer and rival Alex Arion. This started really promising - simple cage-based violence, with Arion bleeding early and Bauer delivering some impressive right-hands. There's a cool bit where Arion's manager chains the door to stop Bauer getting out, only for Bauer to remark that he doesn't want to escape, causing the manager to panic. However, they ran out of ideas, trying to create thirty minute epic when they probably only had enough stuff for half that time. Arion hits five frog splashes, for a two count; Bauer hits two of his Bauerbombs for the same, then two diving headbutts, then a very sloppy third Bauerbomb off the top rope for the victory. Very disappointing.

One other thing I'll note about the show is they need another commentator. This one guy hasn't got the verbal skills of, say, a Kent Walton, so he mostly just describes exactly what is happening, even when tedious ("he has him up...now he's down") something that I already knew, given that I watch most matches rather than listen to them on my iPod.